The ice-kicking stewardess
I was flying a couple days ago, and when I first got on the plane, I noted this high-heeled young flight attendant kicking pieces of ice on the cabin floor out of the open door behind her. Way. Above. The. Ground.
Isn’t that a great way (kicking slippery things when you’re in high heels) to slip, fall out the open door, and land on the tarmac many feet below and die? Yeesh.
Later on, the stewardess behaved a little less surreally, but still unusually; she declaimed her portion of the “how to put on your seat belt” schtick with a very notable Southern/Western accent, dropping the “g” off “ing” repeatedly (leaving “in’”, as in “I love them fixin’s”). She also sashayed to the middle of the cabin and did her “instructional moves with seat belt etc.” a second time; perhaps to let the people in the back of the plane see how to do things. But she did her various mini-presentations right in the middle of when the other, more conventional flight attendant was giving instructions, and at times that were inappropriate, or at least didn’t tally with what the other stewardess was saying.
The I remembered that there’s no reality, we’re all just in some Faulkner novel or something. (The flight attendant was sort of like the flat-toned, I-don’t-give-a-flip waitress Bobbie in “Light in August”, who causes so much trouble for the protagonist Joe Christmas) How else could it be.